Show notes

🎙️ In This Episode of Joe Reads the News: Joe Christiansen goes live from a Texas tree stand (pecan, obviously)

• Live from a pecan tree in Texas – because mesquite is too basic

• Coffee > mushrooms, matcha, cacao, and definitely unnatural cacao

• Joe Bird is back, blue on one screen, red on another – tech mystery unsolved

• Anya wins the weekly Algorithm Award for epic coast-to-coast travelogue and spotlighting badass Marlena Stark (DexPro crushing it with 40% growth and red vans)

• Santa Fe = basically needs a passport, full of wine, mountains, and zero slasher movie vibes (Murray disagrees)

• Convergence 2025 Miami recap: humidity, champagne corks, AI podcasts, robots, packed sessions, and MCA Connect winning the sock game

• Ben Coltrane drops Feature Friday gold: multiple prepayments on one order without the usual BC pain – now with edit flexibility and real-time tracking

• ZZ Top > everything, especially when Ben’s involved

• Melissa Gavione out here with 40k+ followers and yacht networking energy

• Tiffany Allen’s table selfie-bomb proves Convergence is pure chaos magic

• Murray Fife and Frederick crash the algo with agentic AI order creation (Surface Pros ordered themselves, basically)

• Puppy snuggles booth exposed: actually “When Puppies Attack” – exclusive on-the-ground reporting with Rory Fuda and stroopwafels

• Plans announced: Joe hitting Arizona for Christmas, full USA tour summer 2026, new LLCs incoming

• Data migration weekend locked in closet – send help (or Murray’s styling skills)

Joe Bird out. Go be great.